你所记得的一切
All you remember
All you remember about your child being an infant is the incredible awe you felt about the precious miracle you created. You remember having plenty of time to bestow all your wisdom and knowledge. You thought your child would take all of your advice and make fewer mistakes, and be much smarter than you were. You wished for your child to hurry and grow up.
All you remember about your child being two is never using the restroom alone or getting to watch a movie without talking animals. You recall afternoons talking on the phone while crouching in the bedroom closet, and being convinced your child would be the first Ivy League1 college student to graduate wearing pullovers2 at the ceremony. You remember worrying about the bag of M＆M's melting in your pocket and ruining your good dress. You wished for your child to be more independent.
All you remember about your child being five is the first day of school and finally having the house to yourself. You remember joining the PTA3 and being elected president when you left a meeting to use the restroom. You remember being asked “Is Santa real?” and saying “yes” because he had to be for a little bit longer. You remember shaking the sofa cushions for loose change4, so the toothfairy5 could come and take away your child's first lost tooth. You wished for your child to have all permanent teeth.
All you remember about your child being seven is the carpool6 schedule. You learned to apply makeup in two minutes and brush your teeth in the rearview mirror1 because the only time you had to yourself was when you were stopped at red lights. You considered painting your car yellow and posting a “taxi” sign on the lawn next to the garage door. You remember people staring at you, the few times you were out of the car, because you kept flexing2 your foot and making acceleration3 noises. You wished for the day your child would learn how to drive.
All you remember about your child being ten is managing the school fundraisers. You sold wrapping paper for paint, Tshirts for new furniture, and magazine subscriptions4 for shade trees in the school playground. You remember storing a hundred cases of candy bars in the garage to sell so the school band could get new uniforms, and how they melted together on an unseasonably5 warm spring afternoon. You wished your child would grow out of playing an instrument.
All you remember about your child being twelve is sitting in the stands6 during baseball practice and hoping your child's team would strike out7 fast because you had more important things to do at home. The coach didn't understand how busy you were. You wished the baseball season would be over soon.
All you remember about your child being fourteen is being asked not to stop the car in front of the school in the morning. You had to drive two blocks further and unlock the doors without coming to a complete stop. You remember not getting to kiss your child goodbye or talking to him in front of his friends. You wished your child would be more mature.
All you remember about your child being sixteen is loud music and undecipherable8 lyrics9 screamed to a rhythmic beat. You wished for your child to grow up and leave home with the stereo.
All you remember about your child being eighteen is the day they were born and having all the time in the world.
And, as you walk through your quiet house, you wonder where they went and you wish your child hadn't grown up so fast.
当你的孩子是个婴儿时，你所记得的，是你对自己创造出的堪称完美奇迹的作品，感到不可思议的敬畏。你记得你有大量的时间去传授你所有的智慧和知识。你认为你的孩子将会接受你所有的忠告而少犯错误，将会比孩提时代的你聪明许多。你多希望你的孩子快快长大。
孩子两岁时，你所记得的，是从不能独自使用卫生间，从不看一部与动物无关的电影。你记得那些蜷缩在卧室储衣间跟朋友通电话的下午，深信你的孩子将是第一个身着套头衫出席毕业典礼的常春藤名牌大学毕业生。你记得你担心那袋M＆M巧克力糖会在你的衣兜里融化，毁了你体面的衣服。你多希望你的孩子更独立些。
孩子5岁时，你所记得的，是他上学第一天你终于独自拥有整个房子了。你记得参加家长—教师联系会，在你离开会议室去洗手间时，你当选为会长。你记得孩子问你“圣诞老人是真的吗？”你回答“是的”，因为他还需要你的肯定回答，尽管不久他就能自己判断了。你记得在沙发垫子下一通翻腾要找出些零钱，这样牙齿仙女就会来把你孩子掉的第一颗牙带走。你多希望孩子的牙都换成了恒牙。
孩子7岁时，你所记得的，是合伙用车的时间安排。你学会了在两分钟内化完妆，照着汽车后视镜刷牙，因为你能给你自己找出的时间就只有汽车停在红灯前的那小段。你想过把你的车子漆成黄色，并在车库门旁的草坪上立一个“出租车”的标志牌。你记得有几次你下车后，人们盯着你，因为你不断用脚踩油门加速，制造噪音。你多希望孩子有一天能学会开车。
孩子10岁时，你所记得的，是怎么组织学校的募捐者。你们为重新粉刷学校兜售包装纸，为购置新家具兜售体恤衫，为在学校操场上种植遮阳树劝人订阅各种杂志。你记得你在车库里存放了上百盒糖果等待出售，得到钱后学校的乐队就可以购置新制服，可是那些糖果竟在一个暖和得过头的春天的下午全都融化在一起了。你多希望孩子长大，不再演奏什么乐器了。
孩子12岁时，你所记得的，是孩子在体育场打棒球练习赛时，你坐在看台上希望你孩子所在的队很快三击不中出局，因为家里还有更重要的事等你去做。教练不明白你为什么那么忙。你多希望棒球赛季能尽快结束。
孩子14岁时，你所记得的，是他不让你早晨把汽车停在校门口。你不得不开过两个街区，车还没停稳就赶紧打开车门。你记得没能在他的朋友面前跟他吻别或说话。你多希望孩子能更成熟些。
孩子16岁时，你所记得的，是吵闹的音乐和以富有节奏的拍子尖声唱出的难以听懂的歌词。你多希望孩子快点长大成人，带着音响离开家吧。
孩子18岁时，你所记得的，是他们出生的那一天，拥有世间所有的时光。
当你在静静的房子里走来走去时，你纳闷他们去哪里了——你多希望孩子别这么快就长大了。
by Debbie Farmer 忆玫 选译
